Vent Day...

Have you ever been told that you were an embarrassment to a good friend by the good close friend...the kind of friend that you travel with, introduce to your friends, tell all the "dirty" with, hang out with, know all the things...lovers have no need to know...etc., etc.

Where do I begin...should I begin with all the times he's embarrass me...and I turned a blind eye because he's my friend and to be honest...it didn't take any skin off my back...I grew to know when to expect these occassions and how to handle them without hurting his feelings...he's a very volatile individual full of pride...resents people trying to belittle him...so my friends and I have learned that he's him and it's him we like more so than his wordy antics...at times

Change is good...and since meeting his present lover...he's done a 360...and you know for me...that's okay...he's deserves love...and one must always do what makes them happy...it's none of my business and I should know my boundaries as a friend...and so should he!

QUOTE OF THE DAY
"Do not condemn the judgment of another because it differs from your own. You may both be wrong." - Dandemis

Getting It Together!

Have you ever felt like getting your life together and when you begin the getting together...it's just not getting together...or is taking longer than you anticipated...or well...something happens and you have to digress...again...don't you love it though...in retrospect...life, that is...your destiny happens in its own time...

It's good to plan, lay out your moves but I've learnt you must always make allowances for the unexpected and be able to accommodate change...think of it as a step in ladder that you missed...all this does is push back the eventual goal...but in that experience there's something to be learn...

So live life...enjoy each day...do what makes you happy and be with happiness!

QUOTE OF THE DAY
“There is only one success - to be able to spend your life in your own way.” - Christopher Morley

In the Heat of the Night

It was dark, smokey and full of hormonal imbalance...one could smell it everywhere, it was both exciting and scary...seeing scantly clad and nakedness in one place...gyrating, pulsating with one another...licking, sucking and kissing passionately even to the point of drawing blood...
This was just no ordinary party...it was an awakening...an awakening that stimulated the senses...opening the visual to the other side...the darkness of sexuality...the need to satisfy...the insatiable appetites...incessant moans and groans...

In this darkness...life lived on...until the wee hours of the morn...leaving in its aftermath...socks, boxers, prophylactics, empty lube tubes and the like...the hosts were beaming, smiling even...for the deposit would be made on Monday...but the lives of the patrons...I wonder...

QUOTE OF THE DAY
“Anyone who dares to be, can never be weak.” - Chinese proverb

Pain

It touches you
on the surface mostly
and then in another moment
it pierces through you deeply
suffocating your otherwise normal strength

At times this emotion causes sadness
as it develops from situations controlled and uncontrolled
but nevertheless,
it's real and its sting hurts
leaving your pores and mental capacity drained

QUOTE OF THE DAY
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - Benjamin Franklin

In the Mornings...

It took me awhile to search, yet--I'm still searching...exactly what it is...I'm not postively sure but I do know that my expectations have changed...my ideal is now indifferent and comprimised...I wake up ever so grateful each day now...to breathe in this fresh air and feel the coolness of the sea breeze on my skin...I will miss this...this solititude, this peacefulness as I walk the shoreline in the early morn...the beach, the sand, the landscape and me...it is here I truly spend time with myself...away from it all...just me and my thoughts, my conscience and my pride...

QUOTE OF THE DAY
"Pride sullies the noblest character." - Claudianus

Married Doc...

One could tell, as the eyes roamed the bar--the stares, the looks-- then the interesting smiles accompanied by the nods...I was out drowning the stress of my days in Ricky Coconut Rum & Coke...nearby was Garfi, chatting up with the golden oldies as usual...My external was ever present but my mind was a thousand miles away unconcerned with the going-ons in the tiny hole in the wall where one goes through the weekday to escape into surrounding comfortable for our proclivity...during the week the bar is infiltrated with men with vows...mature types...cruise ship patrons and then the springle of singles on the look out one-night-stands...on these nights...it's more lounge music...not blaring at all...just enough for you to know that it creates atmosphere as you can actually understand patrons as they talked to you without having to shout...tonight though was a tribute to Roberta Flack, Aretha Franklin, Patti Labelle, Etta James, Diana Ross, Gladys Knight and Natalie Cole...

As "Tradewinds of our Times" filled the space, it seemed as if most everyone was in sync with this song...bringing back memories of times spent...it was then Doc decided to actually begin the mack down...on me...of all people...did I say he was married...well he's married with children...I had no intentions of being labelled in court documents as a co-respondent in divorce court...no matter how good and sexy he looked...I did entertained him for a spell...a brotha had good conversation...of course he's one of those men...that hit on the side...until the freshness has worned off...then off to the races for new derriere...for me he's one I class...as in...another time, another place...although on a scale of temptation of one to ten...he's an eight...muscles, brawn, brain, conversation...but married!


QUOTE OF THE DAY
"If I had my life to live over... I'd dare to make more mistakes next time." - Nadine Stair

My Kindered Friend

Every once in a while they're similiarities of events and just about anything...sometimes acumen, attitudes, dislikes and likes exist between two people...one such person is my "bestess" friend Garfi...I like him for many reasons...one in particular....he's a no-nonsense non apologizing individual that calls a spade a spade...a friend or no friend...Over the years he's kept me grounded even though I tend to be a romantic..."romance are found in fairly tales, life isn't"...he would say often...

I happened to be at his house this past weekend...and noticed that he had a photo from the early 1980's when bare shoulder-up photos with a chain, necklace or fur were the rave...I smiled inwardly for I have a photo similiar to his...and we weren't introduced as yet...my mom at the time (I was about 14) didn't share an appreciation for the photo...she said it's really not masculine...I guess it was one of the hints back then...lol...

Since meeting Garfi...I have received valuable information and knowledge over the years...as he's considered a Grand Diva of the Information Network for LGBT crowd...before he disseminates information a brotha checked his sources...he been right 9 times out of 10 each time...

I have a great fondess for him...and some people think we're an item...in addition to my cousin and me as well...but who cares...he picks me up when I'm down...and parties with me when I'm bored...he cooks every Sunday and invites me down...and most importantly this kindered heart shares a great deal of himself with others...and me...

I love him like a brother...


QUOTE OF THE DAY
"We have too many high sounding words, and too few actions that correspond with them."- Abigail Adams

Still Lost in Unreturned Love

Lost in a wave of nowhere...I find myself trying to discover the "new" in every facet especially replacing lonliness...trying and not succeeding...I question whether if I'm actually allowing myself to truly discover since I'm still "in love" with my former...some say I'm sick and should have gotten over it by now...but I haven't...I still savor the intimate moments, memories and scents of living together...I was told to throw away my daily journal...which harbor in detail moments of bliss and doubt...but it's my journal, my keepsake...

It will be one year next month since the parting...but we still talk...sometimes during those talks emotions rise and then at times...my feelings aren't in tune with supposed reality...At times like these I cut the conversation short and begin to collect the pieces and put them back into perspective...this love was pure and truly cherished...but somehow, somewhere and at sometime the deficiencies took over and became the master of doubt and it won it's battle leaving me hurt, still hurt and lost...

QUOTE OF THE DAY
"To enjoy the things we ought and to hate the things we ought has the greatest bearing on excellence of character." - Aristotle

Till Death Do Us Part

Why are there so many married men "available"?


QUOTE OF THE DAY
"An unhurried sense of time is in itself a form of wealth." - Bonnie Friedman

Friends

It's true, especially when it comes to me...I have many aquaintainces but very few friends...and those friends have known me for most of my life or five years or more...Everyone you meet doesn't necessarily turn out to be good friends or friends at all...that's just life...but sometimes you find persons whom you just met that click with your sensibilities and accepts you for who you are...provided that they know who and what your about...

I've been thinking about my "real" friends lately and I've had a lot to smile about and be grateful and appreciative that they're in my life...we may not speak every day or every month but when we do...it's just like yesterday!

My ghost writer Jay Jay provided me with this alphabet saying:

A Friend....

(A)ccepts you as you are
(B)elieves in "you"
(C)alls you just to say "HI"
(D)oes not give up ! ! on you
(E)nvisions the whole of you (even the unfinished parts)
(F)orgives your mistakes
(G)ives unconditionally
(H)elps you
(I)nvites you over
(J)ust "be" with you
(K)eeps you close at heart
(L)ikes you for who you are
(M)akes a difference in your life
(N)ever Judges
(O)ffer support
(P)icks you up
(Q)uiets your fears
(R)aises your spirits
(S)ays nice things about you
(T)ells you the truth when you need to hear it
(U)nderstands your
(V)alues
(W)alks beside you
(X)-plains things you don't understand
(Y)ells when you won't listen and
(Z)aps you back to reality

QUOTE OF THE DAY
“The happiness of a man in this life does not consist in the absence but in the mastery of his passions.” - Alfred Lord Tennyson

Five Things...

Five Things about me...Things you may not have known about me...

1. Five jobs I have had in my life (excluding the current one):

a. Bookkeepker/Trust Clerk
b. Reconciliations Clerk
c. Assistant Manager Portfolio Accounting
d. Sales Floor Manager Retail/Luxury Division
e. General Manager/Buyer - Specialty Boutique

2. Five movies I would watch over and over

a. The Color Purple
b. Love and Basketball
c. Auntie Maime
d. Sunset Boulevard
e. Gone With The Wind

3. Five places I have lived:

a. New Providence
b. Bouremouth
c. Los Angeles
d. Canada
e. Atlanta

4. Five TV shows I love to watch:

a. Law and Order - SUV
b. Saved
c. Living Single
d. Deal or No Deal
e. Noah's Arc

5. Five places I've visited on vacation:

a. Paris
b. Jamaica
c. Johannesburg, South Africa (Sun City)
d. New York
e. Panama

6. Five of my favorite foods:

a. Fried Chicken
b. Pasta Alfredo with shrimp or chicken
c. Fire Engine (cornbeef and white rice)
d. Bar-b-que Ribs with Mac & Cheese
e. Grouper

7. Five places I would rather be right now:

a. Atlanta
b. Los Angeles
c. Paris
d. Toronto
e. Brazil

QUOTE OF THE DAY
"A wise man's question contains half the answer." - Solomon Ibn Gabirol

Temporarily Back in the Minute....

It's been more than a minute hiatus...it was not one of rest though but of stress...the stress is less intense now and manageable...my mom was release out of the hospital for the second time however this time she's making a better recovery...one never knows just how much one loves a mother until adversity strikes...

In the last three weeks...I've made a change of address, new surroundings and more work...my plans to part take in the upcoming festivities in the ATL have been postponed...I still need to be with my mother while she's recuperating and my conscience is a nagging bitch should I be selfish...but I do have one or two stories to tell about how in misery one finds company...

I like to send out shout outs and thanks to Barrett, James, Jerry, Walter, Pilgrim, Dwayne for caring...


QUOTE OF THE DAY
"Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body." - Sir Richard Steele