Shopping for Sugar

It happened so matter-of-fact at Publix in aisle number five. Intent on shopping but distant in thought I stood staring at the sugar not even seeing it. My mind was in outwrite this past Tuesday at E. Lynn's book signing for Basketball Jones. I saw him, a man many dreams are made of. He was tall about six-one with carmel skin, a coiffered goatee with a face that GQ would imortalize under his b-boy cap. Age was good to him and the way that his fashion sense clad a well porportioned physique even under his non descript label outerwear my raping eyes met his momentarily. He stood nestled comfortably as if purposely hidden in the corner by the door earnestly listening as the author read a passage. My attention belong to him as nothing else seemed to matter in the tightly packed book store filled with skittles. So much flavor but carmel was for me. Above him on a rack was picture book titled "Sugar Daddies". As if moving through time, I heard the words "excuse me" with a light but insistent tap on the shoulders. I looked up and this short older lady with a head of beautiful silver grey hair looked at me and said "son can you reach down and pass me a bag of sugar". I did while smiling it was just the wrong visual.

Hope

I start this day remembering a good friend, she has her faults just as I do but a good dear friend nontheless....Happy birthday... I wrote this for you:

Hope

May your day be as happy
as you are you
As you share your joys of life
may you too find joy for you.

Copyright ©2009 Doug Anthony

Eighty years ago a beacon of hope was birthed
Fourty years ago he left a dream that we hoped for
On November fourth that dream in part made hope real
Today we're hopeful
and yet still dreaming our dream
for tomorrows

This is the year I intend to write the book and make it real and not another procrastination as my dream will only still be that -- a dream.

Until another day...love hard and live in hope!

New Musings

I write again after eight months, five days in this new year seeing another birthday, a new president -- yes indeed! -- a new black president as destiny continues to prevail.

Fourteen years ago on this date, we buried our beloved "mama" in a small place. My counternance lingers in a sweet melancholy as recollections of "my rock" invades my state shattering my manliness producing puddles. I didn't cry at her funeral. I had to be strong but I've cried since. I inherited her spirit of independence, entrepreneurship, kindness towards others and organizational acumen. I miss her daily. I miss her.

So much has transpired, good and bad, goals met and unmet yet hope still lingers around the corner inspiring still. Do you asked yourself as I do sometimes the -- When this? Why not?
I've realized now at these indecisive times I use these questions to explain away failures. How sad.

It's funny that I know "I can" do more to accomplish more and yet complacency wins. Is that my destiny to be complacent. Have I lived a life watching mom settle and complacent that I've adopted her life. I hope not as what kind of role model am I for my young adult son.

The year has already commenced in difficulty and still is...Staying positive is hard at times and the future for me is the next minute and that too is bleak.

I left a small place where one's proclivity traps you into personal exile to live in a place where one's proclivity is open. Am I happy in a place where the candy jar jolts as you leave the front door...where the person you love says he loves you yet takes monogamy outsides the realm of its definition.

I read blogs and note happiness in the tone of their words... I too seek that state of mind instead of my state of condition. Maybe, just maybe one day...

My comfort is writing so I need to begin to fulfill my destiny and believe that "yes I can to yes I will" so that I can say "yes I did"!