Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Just like it used to be....

My Cousin and I are real close, as family and more importantly as friends. We have our arguments and disagreements and after a few days of non communication -- in the end the foundation is solid as we’ve imported --- to agree to disagree-- into our relationship. He’s “my dawg” and we roll and hang together so much so – the general public of g-boys think we date seriously…LOL…of course we don’t straighten anything out…..The secrets we could tell about each other…would read like a network television series or make the editing cut for the most sort after Derrick L. Briggs book club…adding some spice with a new age literary twist…but he’s my dawg and I would not do him like that…Mama always said…keep a secret or two for yourself….

After work Cousin picked me up and we hung out this past Saturday with my best friend Garfi. Of course you know my dawgs and I hit the screets hard --- armed in our arsenal with coconut rum and mixers of coke and orange juice. Over the past two years since I moved to the ATL we hardly got together like this… It was great and refreshing to say the least for all of us to spend time together, reminiscing about the --remember when-- days and to catch up on the deeds or misdeeds of the week….In retrospect thinking of this weekend brought to mind why I’m writing my first book….my first novel is based partly on experiences, my running dawgs…and me…to be released as soon as I’m finish writing it…so I decided to share a snip bit of the soon-to-come-pending release-untitled novel. Have a read:

My earliest recollection of being different and not so much as being in the life stems from my eldest brother and I summer vacation spent at Cousin Mae on NW 70ST in Liberty City in Miami. I was about nine or ten at the time back in the late seventies, still very much a thumb sucking grandma’s boy sleeping in a bunk bed with two of my older cousins, who by the way were big high school football players at Northwestern Senior High. One flashback that clearly stuck with me through the years, is of the time late one night when everyone was sleeping, I realize that Michel, my seventeen year old cousin replace my thumb sucking finger with his penis and told me to suck on this. I heard these small moans being elicited but did not know where they came from. Something came spilling out in my mouth and soon afterwards he removed his penis and put my thumb back in my mouth as if it was perfectly normal. It was a secret he said, a bad shameful secret but being naive, I was as much scared as I was confused and did not know at the time of my introduction of being physically abused.”


It was the age of innocence…just thinking about this passage takes me back …since then my secrets have multiplied…and to think…I was raised with grace, rhythm and balance but above all... structure….

Remembering When....

Sitting back in yesterday,
I could remember
all the minute idiosyncrasties,
that at the time
did not matter.

Reflecting - often times,
a 'tear' might appear,
creating shivers filled
with despair.

Christmas comes and
christmas goes while
laughter turns into memories
of old.

Still intoxicated with yesteryear
about my trial and tribulations,
a wave of ecstasy drowns me.
I smiled.

Then reality took its toll.
Tomorrow was still--today's affair.

taken from the thoughts of DA

Monday, January 30, 2006

Emptiness is the Pain of Love

The time is endless,
the moments scattered.
The touch sacred,
the vow my commitment.
The love tender, and
they joy sweet.
But,
the sadness is overwhelming,
just as the hurt deep.
Every night is spent -- alone,
awaiting your arrival.
Thus there is an empty space,
reserved for you in place.

taken from the thoughts of DA

Lexus in Decatur...

My October blues….is turning out to be February flurries…I met someone…let’s just say Lexus Decatur is a darn good nice something…something….it feels good to know what I know....not sharing yet...

Plain and Simple

It’s been a long weekend for me…one where my lack of consistency is seriously being called into question….I had not realized that some of my friends were actually reading my blog…I got two calls and a few emails noting their disappointment and concern of no entries since last week Thursday. Actually, the emails were really encouragements for me to keep it up because they didn’t realize I was so deep…hence you know I’m thinking they’re thinking I’m shallow!

I’m primed now to take on blogsphere and for a little inspiration -- I’m pouring my first glass right now of one of Chateau Élan’s Merlot offerings I brought back with me from Atlanta. Really…it’s just plain and simple…truth is…. I hit a road block and didn’t feel like writing. So many happenings in so many moments in those three days– work, friends, more than one libation --- a party and the common cold took its toll.

I just finished an IM conversation with a friend whom I met a year and half ago….we come from different cultures…different countries with an eighteen year age span between us…but it’s like we’re soul mates….In life we meet good people….damn good people and we don’t recognize it….people who tell you straight up with no bullshit…things that need to be said no matter how harsh or insensitive it may seem at the time…you know they care and got your back (umm-just literally!)…No matter the situation or circumstance.

I cherish his friendship … my--allusions and/or delusions—with Six Degrees were put into perspective because of him….he challenged me to internalized deeply in order to reacquaint me with me….he writes a blog of his own….and sent me to his page one day….to help me in my growth of continual rehabilitation in finding me back…the entry on his page read like this:

A Glass of Water:
A student asked his teacher if it was possible to retain peace and self- command regardless of what happens to us in the exterior world. How is it possible?

The teacher took a glass of water and poured it into a nearby vase, then poured the water from a vase into a cup, and finally poured the water into a jar. The teacher explained, “This water has found itself in a glass, a vase, a cup and a jar, all of different shapes and sizes. Regardless of its exterior container, the water retained its original nature; a container had no effect on it whatever. So it is with you. Realize your true and original nature. With this realization you will retain peace and self-command wherever you may find yourself.”

This shit is so simplistic and yet so real that it blew me away….it takes a true friend to know when…to do when…to say when….life is just plain and simple but yet we as individuals complicate it….hopefully he’s having a libation as I raise my glass to him…my Lilburn friend…Thanks…

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Your Personal Invitation To....

Come on over to...my place.

Let’s talk about simple nothings..
In the open... under the warm sun,
being intoxicating by our mutual closeness.
Let’s take exhausting walks, on pink sandy beaches, hand in hand...with each step...the
vestiges of the breaking cool tropical waters caress our feet.
If there’s time... as the sun sets in the west...bathing us in its burst of subdued
orange...we can mingle closer together.

Come on over to...my place.

Where the warmth you feel emanates from my smile.
Where my beguiling eyes acts as an elixir in opening the window to your soul.
As the synergy builds...in the moonlight...under the stars....beads of sweat pouring
drenching light white cotton...

Evidence of time...quality time... has been shared at --
my place.

Copyright ©2003 "Memoirs" of DA

I leave this with you...my keystroke friends... as a thank you for "coming over to my place" and perusing my page...

Know -- your mind...
Love -- with your heart...
Live -- life as if it’s your only opportunity..."

Feel free to inquire...for it’s your curiosity to know that stimulates the senses....

Be Good...Be Safe…but above all...Be You

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Thought

Bascially it's the personal
it's a matter of being,
like a child, like a man.
These are the times of choice,
the need to be totally free
morality and me.

Difficult to understand
the nature of the man.
Hard to perceive
the inner motivations of the thought.
By the warm fireplace
the clock is ticking.
Life is of the essence
so live and let live.
For you-- are your heart's desire.

taken from the thoughts of DA

My Moment....My Chance

…..I rolled over out of my dream and placed the call. This feeling harbored inside me was stronger now than a month ago when we first met, talked, exchanged numbers and first names on the morning six o’clock bus ride to work. The month passed and neither of us called each other as we were unsure--you know--of these things. Strangely enough destiny connected us once again on the bus and it was like the first time. Once again his eyes lighted up upon seeing me, but this time I noticed the glimmer and all the unspoken words. My eyes conveyed assurance and acceptance for I knew of these things. His persona radiated all things beautiful in a person. Outwardly he appeared strong in physique clad in a simple white v-neck t-shirt, camouflage pants and construction worker boots. His dreadlocks were tied in one with the long overspill left dangling on the center of his back. He had a natural masculine sexiness that doesn’t come borrowed. It was up to me to make the first move and to quell this thirst to spend some one on one quality time with him.

This was my moment, my chance to live this experience. It was nine o’clock when I dialed his number and he answered. I invited him on a date at midnight down by the beach at Carefree where the reflection of the moon ricochet its light on the stillness of the ocean. The peacefulness of the night calmed our anxiety and eased our expectations as the sea waves gently washed ashore and left the pink sands wet. He saw me and held out both hands and embraced me and I was contented. We sat on the jutted rocks for a long time…..

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Misguided Love

Many stories are told
and yet,
Many are forgotten.
Many keys are turned
that never reach their
destination.
Many fireplaces are lit
buy yet,
so many dampened.
Many useless words are said
but action counts.
Interference may occur,
and the glass is shattered.
The love was miscalculated
but your sanity is still
yours.

taken from the thoughts of DA

Everyone at some time or other had a love that did not work out. It always seem that one person puts more into the relationship than the other and yet, we continually make the same mistake over and over. My Cousin told me the other day that I'm not a relationship oriented person. I was quite surprise that he made that determination. Of course he was quite wrong. His reasoning was that I "flirt" too much and in his estimation you shouldn't do that in a relationship.

Do you think flirting is bad in a relationship? Can you help that other persons when your out find you attractive and flirt with you?

As for me, flirting only becomes a problem when you act on it. I never acted on any flirting impulses while in a committed relationship. In fact, I always let the suitor know I'm happily involved and thanks but no thanks.

I'm taking my time this year as it pertains to fulfilling that need to have someone. I'm older, wiser and more in tune than ever of who I am and as the poem says my sanity is still mine.

Monday, January 23, 2006

D.C. Jump Off

A short story
By DA

It was Wednesday, the day before my parent’s anniversary and Columbus Day holiday back in the islands. As usual at 6:30 am, my very good friend and co-worker to whom I have bestowed the honor of calling Ms. Conscience and my very best friend and personal trainer, Diesel did our usual 6k run along the west side of the island known as the Cable Beach strip.

I had so many things to do, the barber, the cleaners, last minute items at work and last but not least dealing with a situation with Nolan, a youngness I was dating before I caught up with my crew at 2 pm for a four day mini jump off to Washington D.C. It was the last holiday before Christmas and we intended on taking full use of this weekend frolicking, partying and being mischievous as us boys do.

Diesel was waiting patiently outside my office building on Harold Road and as usual I was running late but it pays to know the ticket agent who processed me quickly in order to make the Delta flight to Atlanta. We would be in transit in Atlanta for about an hour and a half before we boarded Delta again bound for Washington D.C. I caught up with Cousin and his better half Reds in the departure lounge cocktail bar just moments before the gate ticket agent announced the commencement of boarding for flight 717. This would be Cousin and Reds first time visiting the capital. We boarded, got settled in and after take off I put on my earphones and listed to Patti Labelle as she took me to higher place of peace and sleep.

The stopover in Atlanta went by so quickly especially since the eye candy traveling through Hartsfield-Jackson had our necks going from left to right as if we were in physical therapy from a neck injury. The flight landed at Reagan National at 6:55 pm and the pre-arranged livery car took us to the Park Hyatt, our residence in the city. Upon arrival at the hotel, Litho the bellman, greeted us and took our bags as Ana, a guest relations representative booked us into our rooms. Strangely enough, my room number was the same as my original flight. As I threw myself across the king size bed , I zipped out my cell and called an old college mate of mine that worked for this hotel chain and set a date to meet up tomorrow night. Soon afterwards, I heard a knocking at the door. It was Litho with my bag. I gave him a tip and we discussed possible sites to see and he gave me his number supposedly in case I got lost. How nice of him but I knew what he meant and the glimmer in his eyes was confirmation. He was a very attractive bald headed East Indian.

Three rooms down the corridor were Cousin and Reds. We had previously decided to meet downstairs in the lobby at 8:30 pm for dinner at the Melrose in the hotel. After a well deserved dinner even though the portions were small we headed out and walked the strip of Dupont Circle taking in the views and stopping into some shops. We couldn’t resist paying a friendly visit to the book store and proceeded straight through the black curtain at the back where the good stuff was to be had. Surprisingly, I came across a video jacket that happened to catch my attention mainly because it had a friend of mine from California on it. I was so surprised that right then I called Rozier, my first love in California and left a message on his phone to let him know that I wasn’t aware that Oden was doing porn flicks now. Oden was a charity case that Rozier adopted to try and set on the right path to freedom from Welfare and Section Eight. That was just too much excitement for me all at one with so many thoughts going through my head. Cousin and Reds were ready to go where boys go so we left the store and hailed a taxi that took us to the southeast district.

Once we got in the district we opted for the smoke infested dimly lit “Wet” go-go boy bar but it was more like a candy store for us so the smoke was not a hindrance as our eyes were bulging at the bulges right before us at on the bar. It was like boys to men up in there of every hue and body builds taking up every crevice of the joint. From appetizers to a four course meal -- one could go to market and have a feast and still be hungry. The deejay had the music primed and on point pumping Prince’s “Cream” through the speaker. Cousin and Reds each on the side had a few momentary lapses and winks at times forgetting that they were out together. All I could do was smile as it was quite amusing watching both of them play it off. Cousin pinched me so hard to get my attention as this fine slim six-packed brother was stepping onto the small side stage and began to work the pole. My distraction from the main stage was side tracked for a minute as I watched this dancer greased and straddled that pole then slid down on it and ended up with is legs in the split. Cousin showed his appreciation with a twenty spot in the front of his g-string. Cousin, like his men slim built and sexy and at that very moment he was sizzling in temperature and in draws. I returned to the main stage to watch this tall fine specimen of man do his routine in the on-stage shower. There’s something about water droplets on a sculptured able bodied man that sets my hormones raging in the wrong direction upstairs and downstairs. This tasty looking chocolate bar of a man was about to get my money when incidentally this short, dark and incredibly handsome denim clad brother spilled his drink and I was the recipient of the residue. To say I was upset was an understatement but Gill was a gentleman about it and apologized and offered to have it cleaned. It turned out that Gill, a native New Yorker was visiting the capital on business as well and enjoying the treats of what the city had to offer. He offered to buy me a drink and I accepted and we talked for a bit, had a few libations and then our talk turned into flirting and flirting turned into a meeting of bodies at the Hyatt.

Early Thursday morning Gill left at 6am and I slept in until noon. I was feeling damn good when I got up ordered breakfast and then called Cousin. They had already eaten breakfast and were having seconds of another kind. I called Litho and asked him to call the livery service so that we go shopping at the Mall at Pentagon City across the bridge in Virginia. We spent most of our time in Kenneth Cole spending some change and then some. The designer Kenneth Cole himself was in the boutique that day giving us some what to wear tips. After lunch in the mall we decided to hit up the Gap. Now everyone knows that the Gap always has some pretty boy sales associates and we would have been remised if we didn’t partake of palette of favors so readily available to wait on us. I headed towards a rack that had black and brown leather pants with security wire and a lock on its base and started to browse. Over comes a cute brown skin youngness named Darryl with dreadlocks. Suffice to say I brought the black leather pants and I got the digits and a date for lunch.

By five we were through shopping and decided to drop the packages off at the hotel and Cousin and Reds decided to take advantage of their room until dinner at seven thirty. My college mate, Sears came over at six and we had drinks in the lobby piano bar and played fill in the blanks. I was happy to see him and found out he now had three children with his beautiful wife Maureen and things couldn’t have been better other than winning the lottery. Cousin and Reds met us downstairs at the bar and made the necessary introductions. Just before Sears left it was agreed that he would be our guest at dinner tomorrow at the Daily Bar & Grill on M street. We had dinner at a steakhouse about three blocks down from the hotel near a club called Rumors. After dinner, Gill picked us up from the hotel and we hit the southeast district clubs hard that night. We spent some time at the Nation, Wet, a strip club around the corner called Lexus and then capped off the night at the famous bookstore. Gill spent the night but this time we explored each other in the shower before getting into bed and ordering room service. After our pre dawn snack I did some snacking of my own and the remnants of my labor were spilled all over his chest. We became good friends over the years.

I didn’t realize I had opened the curtains that night to view Washington’s skyline and when I rolled over and opened my eyes the sunlight spilled into the room nearly blinding me and it took a minute for my eyes to adjust. Forty year old Gill looked so peaceful lying on his stomach with his back exposed. I pulled the covers back and took in the view, it was absolutely magnificent. He was five feet seven, of dark complexion with a tight muscular body. He looked good for his age plus a brother had skills. He racked up quite a few points with me last night. He spent Friday morning with me before he had to leave to catch his flight, which worked out fine as I had a late lunch date with Darryl.

I met Darryl for lunch at three in the afternoon at the Georgetown Park Mall. Cousin and Reds walked through downtown Georgetown taking in the sites and shopping while I was on my date. Actually, lunch was better than I had expected. Darryl was twenty-one, in college at Howard University and worked at the Gap part time. He was sharp and quite knowledgeable and conversation was good. He was charmer and when he smiled that contagious smile his eye brows would meet. That was neat to me. We passed first base on that date and exchanged personal information and numbers for each other. I caught up with Cousin and Reds at the music store in Georgetown and bought Madonna’s new CD titled “Music”.

Sears met us for dinner that night at the Daily Bar & Grill and Cousin took over the conversation from start to finish. He seemingly found Sears attractive as he was a good looking slim brother around five feet nine that did not swing on our side of the fence. Reds and I amused ourselves with conversation of our stay thus far. Around nine Sears left to catch his train to the suburbs where he stayed and we took a cab to the old navy shipyard where the Mill was located.

The Mill would forever be etched in our memories. Cousin and Reds have never ever before seen so many good looking men in one club on two floors. They disappeared once we got our first drink so I wandered over to the downstairs bar, sat on the bar stool and witnessed mostly scantly clad patrons dancing and swaying to the house and techno beat the deejay was putting down. Back where were from we only hear the latest R&B being played; it takes awhile before we catch up with most things in the islands. For me to hear this type of music was so refreshing. I actually liked it, it went well with my gin and tonic and soon afterwards the music took over my senses completely and this brother had to put foot to hardwood and dance. I got up and maneuvered my frame between all the patrons dancing and found a spot to groove amongst all my beautiful people. I danced to about four songs all by myself although one or two people thought they could invade my space.

I needed a refill and proceeded towards the bar. Reds was ordering a drink and talking to a patron so I just hailed him and ordered mine. As I about to pay for the drink the bartender told me it was covered and I was like is that so. I asked the bartender who my benefactor was and I felt a tap on my shoulder. When I turned around, I had to look up as this brown skinned brother was like six five and at least two hundred and twenty pounds. He was very confident and immediately introduced himself as Ptate (pronounced p-tate). I thanked him for the drink and offered to buy him one but he refused and said he doesn’t drink and work at the same time. That confused me for a second but then he explained that he’s the deejay. He said that he saw me enjoying myself by myself on the dance floor. I asked if it was a crime and he retaliated by saying yes if it’s not with him. Ten points he scored right there for that confident comeback. Hence, for the rest of the evening Cousin and Reds could not find me as I was hanging out in the deejay booth enjoying the music, the company and climbing Jacob’s ladder.

Reds finally located me and I came out of the booth. He looked concerned so I asked if everything is okay and he told me he could not find Cousin. Letting Cousin loose in a candy jar club full of handsome men was Reds first mistake. I helped him look for Cousin, he went one way and I went the upstairs and on the outside deck. Reds did not know about the deck. I found Cousin on the deck in the corner kissing on this man with so much fervor; it took me a second to catch myself. I politely intruded in that mix and pulled Cousin aside and let him know what the score was with Reds. He needed to wrap up that kiss, fix his hard on and go to his man. I told him where I would be in the club and if they needed to go I’ll get a ride at the hotel. He caught up with Reds and everything seemed to be going smooth so they stayed until Ptate time was up.

Ptate dropped us at the hotel around two thirty in the am and I invited him up for coffee and a late night snack. The night was beautiful so again I pulled the drapes, ordered room service and he sat in the chair and I lay across the bed and talked until sunrise before we wrapped up under the covers and went to sleep. The experience of just cuddling was so right; I was like a teddy bear in his big frame. We got up around eleven o’clock took separate showers and had breakfast. This experience was such a rush for me and I felt like I’d finally met quality and substance at the same time. There was no mention of sex although I could feel the heat as we lay during our repose.

It was Saturday and before Ptate left at noon he altered our plans for the day. Apparently, this weekend was the Gay/Lesbian Film Festival in Washington D.C. and he possessed extra VIP passes to attend the premiere of Patrick Polk film “Punks” and the Absolute Vodka after party. We never went to a premiere before so we headed right back to the Mall at Pentagon City and shopped for appropriate attire and have lunch. At four we decided to kick back and have tea and crumpets in Cousin’s room and then I begged an excuse that I was tired and needed to put in a power nap before Ptate was scheduled to collect us at six thirty.

I was really enthuse about tonight as Ptate really took me off guard and it made me think in addition to proving to me that not all brothers on the dating scene have lost chivalry. I looked over at him as he drove, he was tall, calm in demeanor, nonchalant in attitude and speech, extremely intelligent and knowledgeable but most of all he seemed sincere when he told me he finds me attractive and wanted to get to know me on a long term basis. The operative word in his narrative was “long” not hook up and run. This manly man really was racking up the points without even knowing it. Inside the lobby of the premiere he introduced us to Ron Simmons, the Executive Director of Us Helping Us, the organization that was organizing the festival. We had a great time viewing the movie and the after party. Afterwards we all went including Donnie, a good friend of his to Annie’s for a late dinner. We had a swell of a time in Annie’s. We ended the night dropping everyone off and he took me to his apartment where I spent the night and all day and night Sunday.

It was now Monday, the day I have to return to the islands. I did not want to go but Ptate said that this is not good bye as he will soon see me later. He took me to the hotel, waited until I packed and we all checked out and then took us to the airport. As he took my bags out of the car and handed them to me, I extended my hand to shake his. He looked offended and in one swoop he picked me up and kissed me so passionately in front of all those people I was gasping for breath. I was embarrassed and right then I did not know why, maybe because everyone I’ve ever dated was reserved with their public affection. He obviously didn’t have a problem with his open expression of emotion. Cousin and Reds were in shock just as much as I was and the stares from onlookers to tell the truth were quite amusing. Ptate looked at me and told me that he will call me and with that he left.

I was on cloud nine, no longer battling the waves to find that rare something special. My diamond was not rough around the edges rather smooth to the touch and its brilliance lingered in my thoughts and heart until November fourth when I would return.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

The Island

The land of the friendly,
The land of the free.
Oh! what an exhilrating feeling.
Within it's circumference
lies nothing but sheer beauty,
tranquil beaches and pink sands.
The sight beseiges you with waves
of sensations.
This is my abode.

The splendor of nature in its
finest form.
Its seductiveness is so alluring
that when setting foot upon --
your imagination of "paradise"
is at your grasp.
Many have returned,
Many settled,
My roots began.


--taken from the thoughts of DA

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Remembering "Mama"

Eleven years to this day, my mentor, my friend, my teacher and my most cherish possession died at the age of 78. My grandmother was the bedrock of the family. She was a formidable matriarch, an entrepreneur, a socialite involved not only in church but in many civic organizations. She practically raised me from birth and over the years she passed all her knowledge at the time in the beauty pageant business on to me. She was my initial teacher from the age of four in instructing me on the “hows” of producing an event. The planning, the organization, marketing, networking and people skills that I possess today are all credits to her. Today, I celebrate her memory and the impact she made on my life. I miss her dearly and her legacy lives on not only through me but through so many lives she touched. From the union of my granparents both deceased our family is now in its fifth generation. Many will never know her intimately like I do, they will only hear of the tales (of which there are many) passed down by the older generations. Your legacy lives on “Mama”.

In her obituary, I wrote this:

“Today our walls of Jericho have tumbled down.
It is over for Mama, but from this moment on
There will always be fond memories for us.
This is no dream – only reality –
Mama our Matriarch will be no more.” -- DA

Death is inevitable. What continues to elude us about death is the time – the when? Enjoy the people that our dear to you and cherish the fact that you have someone to love and to love you.

Friday, January 20, 2006

Sad Crises

We still hide in closets nowadays each in our "own" way. Whether single or married we lose our expression of freedom to be -- to be -- simply an individual -- happy and free. We give that up so easily those of us from smaller countries as forward thinking is not in favor of our proclivity. It's difficult to break away when religion is the cornerstone of the family and we constantly hear the fire and brimstone sermons by those whose promise to God is to love and preach love above all. I feel your pain but offer you this writing-- this day, that I wrote when my trials broke down my walls of Jericho.

"This is my crisis"

As I opened the door
the brilliance of the sun seeped in.
The day had begun.

Plunged into the vastness
of the world outside,
I was lost.
Strange personalities seemed
to crowd me from all directions,
begging me to conform myself to
their own little world.
In fact, I sometimes was inclined.
But disillusioned eventually as I
never seemed to fit.

This monotonous apsect of life
kept on like this.
The day seemed to get longer
and longer. --And
Still I knew something was wrong.
I had not yet found my true indentity.

The sun went down,
the door re-emerged in my vision.
Night had encompassed the land
for the day was over.
And yet still --
life remained the same.

taken from the thoughts of DA

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Six Degrees

Expanding on my literary skills in all mediums is a continuing goal this year. I present to you my first of a series of short stories from "The P Files". As in all things with me, about me I try to chronicle my experiences in some form or other. The title denotes the number of academic degrees achieved by the main character and as time evolve in this continuing saga one will truly surmise that I'm actually attracted by intelligence. The ability to carry on a decent and intellectual conversation with the playful use of ambiguous but flirting words is quite a turn-on in the right setting. I find it very endearing but it seems in the end it's always to my detriment. One can tell the difference between a boy and a man through conversation. When I was a child, I did childish things but now I'm a man....I expect all things manly. Hopefully you'll enjoy today's offering titled "Six Degrees".

Six Degrees
A short story from The P Files
By DA

It was mid summer in the ATL and this wife beater weather was its usual self, hot and humid just like my hormones. After work a friend and I decided to go to the local boy bar, Bulldogs for the mature folks that evening to get our dance and drink on, flirt and for me definitely to get my groove back. It’s been three months since the Pastor opted for greener pastures as a committed relationship was not in his Sunday sermon. I realized after a month it seemed that my apartment in Riverdale, just off of highway 138 was a revolving door for off the chain sex for the pastor. I often ask myself in my internalization mode why we believe the bullshit when we know its bullshit because the sex is great. Anyhow that was then and this is now – and I’m still hot, horny and emotionally unfulfilled.

I awoke from under a six-foot three, two hundred and ten pounds full bodied stress reliever to the sounds of my cell phone insistent rings. I neglected to answer it after seeing it was my go to the club friend from last night. It was Saturday the last day of July and my three months migraine had dissipated. I smiled as I look down lying in the bed at this well tooled able-bodied specimen no doctor could have prescribed.

Taking me out of my momentary lapse of reality once again was the cell phone. I glanced at the wall clock in the kitchen and I realized then it was eleven thirty. You would think that I would turn the shit off after waking me up the first time. But no, I answered it in an attempt to get the “diva” off my back. It was said in certain circles that his royal highness suffered from allusions of grandeur. Divas are grand but his royal highness had already pass the age of training for diva school plus he’s rustic along the edges somewhat and not as avant garde and sultry as grand divas are however he is my dear Caribbean friend. Going out with the no car no driving his royal highness once a month was all I could muster in order to maintain my networking status. He would go in spells as it relates to going out as he’s very particular at where and with whom he associates but summer is his people mixing season as he gets to show off his Bally’s membership tight six packed muscled body. There was this house white party he wanted to go to later where as he puts it will be littered with eligible homeowners (ho’s). This is the class of men one should date or is relationship material according to chapter one, two and three in Dating 101 volume one of His Royal Highness recently in mind only released book.

I told him he should call me later as I was busy for most of the day. Visions of round two with my early morning trade had entered my mind as I listened to the useless chatter of my friend. As I returned to the room and saw him languishing ever so casually amidst the satin sheets still sleeping, I slipped in beside him and decided it was time that I truly gave him a special for being so good to me earlier. Dr. Nibble went to work all over his body with intervals of ever so tender bites all in the right places and before I reached below the waistline he was vertical like a drill sergeant moaning in pleasure with his eyes closed. I parted his legs and let Dr. Nibble spend some time down in the hairy forest and just below the balls and on the inside of his thighs with licks and tender bites. This drove him to pre-cum and I hadn’t even given him a blow job. Now that I had gotten his full attention and his senses were alive I told him to sit up in the bed as I straddled the full extent of that joy stick for a train ride around Georgia as I simultaneously guided his mouth to my nipples to take advantage of vigorously. I used my sphincter muscles to consistently squeeze on his shaft while I gyrated up and down on his dick. In a matter of five minutes we both couldn’t take it any longer and blew our loads together. I took his number and sent him packing.

Insufferable Sean, his royal highness was a master talent of the lens. Actually, to be politically correct he’s a photojournalist and writes and takes photos for a number of magazines. My boy just knows he has skills professionally but shady on the personal side. It was him calling again to pester me into making an appearance at this gathering of white. I agreed before he told me we would be crashing the party. I have a problem being in places where I’m not invited by the host so I protested. But then again, Sean reminded that in my business one should take every opportunity to network. He won that round and I relented in his favor to go. Apparently, two old friends, now residents of Atlanta via New York were invited and we were to meet up with them at a house in Stone Mountain. I questioned Sean about his friends but of course all he offered was that one was his former roommate and the other he did an article on for Black Enterprise.

For the next fourteen months July 31, 2004 would forever be etched in my love history as the day my heart fluttered and fell stone cold for Six Degrees.

After collecting Sean (his royal highness) from his pad off of Bouldercrest to venture on a tour of the east side which was foreign to both of us especially me. This would be my first time going to the Stone Mountain district and it seemed to take forever for us two blind mouse’s to get there. Sean’s cell rang and it was six degrees best friend calling to find out where we were and why hadn’t we arrived as yet. His royal highness assured him that we were on our way but temporarily lost so best friend guided us to the house. Six Degrees and his best friend were in a BMW SUV sitting in the driveway and with confirmation that it was us they took off and we followed them another hour in travel time. We arrived finally!

We parked and then it was time for Sean to give the introductions of his two friends. Six Degrees was tall, dark and good looking with a bald head. He was six feet and weight proportionate around one hundred and ninety pounds with a killer smile. He seemed quite shy at first and then we shook hands but it was a lingered hand shake which is good indication for me. Needless to say, six degrees was definitely on my hit list for the night. Six Degrees best friend name is Thomason. Thomason is a lighter hue complexion brother standing a tall six foot three, bald headed, groomed and dressed stylishly. I could tell by the conversation and the use of the English language that both of these brothers are educated professionals in their given fields.

This was my first time at a white party in Atlanta and the men present were all professionals give or take one or two eye candies that were obviously hanging on to older sugar daddies. It’s amazing how you can go places in Atlanta and always meet new people that you’ve never seen before. I did not know anyone at the party and never ran into any of them at any of the local boy bars that I frequented from time to time. Sean, Six Degrees and me hung out together for a spell while Thomason went about his business chatting up with some people that he knew. Sean realized eventually that some innocent flirting in conversation was going on between Six Degrees and me so he made himself evaporate in the crowd. We chatted about mutual interests and the dating scene. We were like the discovery channel – discovering important tidbits about each other but most importantly the questioned had to be answered on both of our part if we were dating anyone seriously presently. After we satisfied our initial hesitations, the conversation flowed quite easily and I was beginning to like this brother even more. For me it was more about qualities he possessed than anything else. He was shy and seemed passive. I really like my liaisons to be aggressive, assertive, confident and knowledgeable in all things pertinent to the development and continuation of things intimate. He didn’t fit that bill but he possessed a certain charm in an old school quiet way which was very appealing. I still had a lingering question on my mind and with my wild imagination I needed to satisfy my curiosity about Sean and him. They were roommates and we all know how most gay people become friends. The answer to this question would have to be put at bay for the time being. After awhile we both went our separate ways and for me I networked while Six Degrees socialized. My affection for him really surfaced when I realized his attention was drawn towards a certain executive director of a youth based non-profit organization. He was about five-ten, slim built with dreads and quite handsome as they both stood in front of the fireplace quite engaged in conversation. You could tell they were flirting. To be candid, I was jealous so I went wondering after witnessing that exchanged. I caught back up with the diva whom by the way was being locked down in some serious one on one with a cute guy from Memphis however he did not fit the diva “ho” criteria to be submitted in his book as a possible second opportunity date. The diva was gearing up to give him the brush off.

Getting back to reality, the white party was good. It had good food, lots of drinks and I met some really good people. According to Sean it was a great networking opportunity of which I passed the grade. Six Degrees finally caught up with me and wanted to know if I was enjoying the party. He noticed that I left the inside of the house after I saw him talking to the young chap. He made his first mistake --- that of recognition of my discord. I knew then he at least had some interest. You know I lied when I told him point blank it didn’t matter to me whom he talked too. The host, an accomplished lawyer, announced that the party may be over at the house but the celebrations would continue at Phase One on Memorial Drive. Six Degrees asked if we were going to the club but Sean who was standing on the side of me answered and said why not.

Sean and I took off our linen shirts before entering the club. He had on a crew neck white t-shirt while I wore a white wife beater to show off my tone physique. As we maneuvered our way in the “ho” infused club to the bar we caught up with Six Degrees and Thomason. Thomason seemed to right at home again chatting up the patrons while Six Degrees was engrossed in a conversation with a light skinned brother with a fat gene. This was fine with me because I was in my element now – the club. Over the years, I’ve gotten accustomed to the obligatory advances, glances and eye winks so commonly bestowed upon me. Sometimes I used it to my advantage, it all depended on the how horny I was and then again, sometimes I quaintly and unmistakably shrug off a suitor or two with a not so alluring look that says “thanks but no thanks”.

Being around a bunch of matured eligible men was captivating – their company certainly improved the conversation level a notch and their ability to engage your attention span intellectually also impressed me. Right about this time my drink was waning and my conversation was weakening with this shorter than me brother so I took the bull by the horn (dredged up my aggressiveness attitude) went over to Six Degrees and asked the guy with the fat gene to pardon my interruption and asked Six Degrees to dance. He excused himself from the conversation with fat gene and thanked me for rescuing him.

The dance was our friend, our movements were ours and with our eyes everything was said and not said. His occasional touch combined with the intensity of our stares and the thump of the music transcended me to another world – that state where I am at peace, contented and feel secured wrap in the aura of my dream man. He not only was a better than average dancer but a sexy hunk of flesh and being with him made me feel special. Besides the electricity transferring between us was causing my hairs on my arm to raise as well as other body parts. It seemed as if we danced for an eternity. I lost count of the songs and sounds --- wrapped up in “his” world. It was just him and I in the room and that was all that mattered.

I guessed his royal highness sensed the heat uprising on the floor and he came to relieve me of my state of mind. He cupped my chest from behind on the dance floor and started to grind on the back of me while Six Degrees paid attention to my frontal. I’ve never been sandwiched before but it felt good. It struck me then that actually his royal highness was a bit put off that I was monopolizing his friend Six Degrees. For me, it was an insatiable thirst to be wanted by “him”.
We stayed on the dance floor and flirted dangerously with each other in the dance until I could take it no more and opted to rest for a bit while Six Degrees retreated to the lavatory. On and off we flirted with each other as the evening progressed as we both engaged in conversations with club patrons. However, most of his time was being captivated by fat gene. I was talking with this good looking well built muscular brother who definitely caught my attention by the pool table. At one point he came dangerously close to me and I could feel his heart thumping while he asked me for my number and out of the blue Six Degrees came over and asked the gentleman what’s going on as he was speaking with “his” man. I was flabbergasted and quite turned on by his assertiveness and possessiveness. It was so sexy but I couldn’t resist the excuse me I’m sure I did not hear that statement right. Mr. Muscular apologized and turned away as Six Degrees said to me that I belonged to him, if only for tonight. I just smiled a very knowing smile.

A drag show commenced and we both drifted to the dance floor where the stage was located and without even realizing it our hands interlocked like teenage lovers possessing the need of touch to reaffirm our feelings. It felt good, he felt good and my mind began analyzing. Saturday had now passed by and whatever it was had begun and now it was early Sunday morn and I was still with him. It would soon end and up to this point we had not exchanged numbers nor did he asked. I have this rule I do not take numbers but I will give mine. It was two-thirty in the morning and well all decided to leave and as we were walking out together he asked for my digits. So I gave him my cell so that he could his number in my phone and then call his phone from my phone thus leaving no room for error.

His parting words were of the effect that he would call me later that day. It was Sunday still and I believed him and yet Six Degrees reminded me of all the times I heard that line and I wondered if he would be a “pilgrim” as defined by Webster.

Sweet Expressions

I'm an early riser each day... and this morning I awoke to the pitter patter of rain drops on my window...the combination of the light rain and breeze off the ocean was quite refreshing. Here in the islands, I enjoy each day God has blessed me with. I also take advantage of the early morning outdoors when I run on the sand at one of our beaches and inhale the fresh sea scent that comes off the ocean that opens up my nostrils...it's exhilarating!

The stillness of the morning gives me the opportunity on my jog to really think clearly and appreciate all life lessons, some already learnt and some on the horizons as I make decisions each day. Late last year my relationship went downhill with Six Degrees....I finally found so I thought...a love of my own...someone I deeply loved...someone that gave me the opportunity to find me...my limitations, my abilities and the side of me that truly cares....for once openly and honestly...

I still do care...and it hurts at times...but Pastor Samuels at Victory reminded me on New Year's Eve....that somethings you have to leave behind....I did...

In times like this (when I'm feeling all alone) I refer to a poem I wrote that heals my inner soul....

Sweet Expressions

from the thoughts of DA

How can I write....
about my forlorn, my longing,
my hurt.
How can I write...
your lips, your beauty,
your presence.
How can I write...
about our mutual desires
only satiated by time,
by need, by existence.
How can I write...
about my sweet expressions.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Durham's Crush

It's been a week to this day I created this blog and suffice it to say I've been negligent in being consistent. For my excuse, the last nine days have been all work and no play with this new contract that I have...but a good friend reminded me that a daily blog is just that --- daily. Kudos to him...for setting me on the right path...you can visit his thought enlighting blog each day at www.savvy101.blogspot.com

Now, this good friend and me go way back...I had the largest "B" crush on Durham and was quite smitten by this intelligent, handsome and witty protege to politics and history educator. After his polite email to me today about my blog or the lack thereof...I happened to sift through my many notes and writings and came across an email I sent to him on Friday, September 6, 2002 titled "Just For You". This was just after meeting him for the first time on the Sunday of Pride at Blake's in Atlanta.

Riding in my car going to work this morning back in 2002, my thoughts were of him and I found myself smiling in my car truly gushing like a teenager in love as I remember our parting -- the never ending kiss. So when I arrived at work the inspiration of that smile and moment hit me and I penned these words to him in this email....

Durham's Crush

It was Sunday
the best day of the week
and, this time--love or the vision of it
did not seem bleak.

Dark, smokey and festive
was when it happen
out of nowhere the vision of my dreams
became an elective
to embrace or not to partake.

Authorative, sexy and smiling
encompass the spacious four walls
seemingly making it minute for two.
Piercing eyes opened the windows
to my long lost soul
leaving me refresh and whole.

Confident in stride as a lion preying on its kill
knowing full well he would have his fill.
Taking my breath away for at least four seconds
Vanishes -- leaving me beckoning.

It was Sunday
the best day of the week
and, this time--love or the vision of it
did not seem bleak.

---taken from the Thoughts of DA

This post is dedicated to him...for being him!