Mood Takeover
To write is therapy...a release of thought processes which have garnered attention. So many experiences deserving of documentation but the energy to do so evades physical interaction between pen and paper.
Lately, there have been two to many "gone to soons" that have been a part of my evolution. Contemplating on the way it used to be elicit smiles and tears. How sad when mortality finally becomes mortal. Death always causes reflection, sometimes wondering what contribution can be attributed to you. Have you volunteered, mentored or made a significant impact in the lives of others? It's to hard to think now, so I drink -- my daily heinee vitamin.
Why are same gender relationships doomed from their start? Why are we as gay men "like children" -- wanting every color candy in the jar -- using excuses like -- all we do is argue -- I have needs -- you do not pay me any attention. Instead of communicating their alter ego wins over reasoning and in the aftermath you wonder why trust becomes an issue. It's too hard to think now, so I drink and I know I should not -- heinee wets my throat.
Do we really love? How do you know your in love? I'm "in love" and I truly believe he loves me but the love hurts. This love, our love cuts deeply for I'm a simple man with simple manners just wanting honesty and communication but instead the simple things in life seems to now evade the longevity of the union. Maybe it's me, and refusal to accept or to wake up to the new shade of love. It's really hurts to think now hence a new heinee.
It's an easy Sunday but my mind is thwarted with issues, family, professional and intimate. I'm human and in need of man sex -- that animalistic throw down flip over in your face passionate mingling -- but I don't want to cheat least I become him and guilt consume me for a minute. The option of masturbation is passe...Hence the stupor I'm putting myself in...It doesn't hurt to think now....heinee is beginning to create a buzz , I know my nipples are hardening -- so down goes more heinee.
On this Sunday my countenance is troubled, the soul bleeds to repair the hurt as I try to reconcile these incessant feelings. My friend, heinee is till here four more to go and then I shall sleep the day away.
Lately, there have been two to many "gone to soons" that have been a part of my evolution. Contemplating on the way it used to be elicit smiles and tears. How sad when mortality finally becomes mortal. Death always causes reflection, sometimes wondering what contribution can be attributed to you. Have you volunteered, mentored or made a significant impact in the lives of others? It's to hard to think now, so I drink -- my daily heinee vitamin.
Why are same gender relationships doomed from their start? Why are we as gay men "like children" -- wanting every color candy in the jar -- using excuses like -- all we do is argue -- I have needs -- you do not pay me any attention. Instead of communicating their alter ego wins over reasoning and in the aftermath you wonder why trust becomes an issue. It's too hard to think now, so I drink and I know I should not -- heinee wets my throat.
Do we really love? How do you know your in love? I'm "in love" and I truly believe he loves me but the love hurts. This love, our love cuts deeply for I'm a simple man with simple manners just wanting honesty and communication but instead the simple things in life seems to now evade the longevity of the union. Maybe it's me, and refusal to accept or to wake up to the new shade of love. It's really hurts to think now hence a new heinee.
It's an easy Sunday but my mind is thwarted with issues, family, professional and intimate. I'm human and in need of man sex -- that animalistic throw down flip over in your face passionate mingling -- but I don't want to cheat least I become him and guilt consume me for a minute. The option of masturbation is passe...Hence the stupor I'm putting myself in...It doesn't hurt to think now....heinee is beginning to create a buzz , I know my nipples are hardening -- so down goes more heinee.
On this Sunday my countenance is troubled, the soul bleeds to repair the hurt as I try to reconcile these incessant feelings. My friend, heinee is till here four more to go and then I shall sleep the day away.
posted by Da Jardin at 1:16 PM
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