Trifling

We all want...no...we all say we need someone to share ou lives with....but this someone has to conform to the pre-set criteria...as established by us...we use hook up sites to explore our sexuality under the guise of meeting Mr. Right...after the hook up...we then go through the waiting-to-ring-phone period...soon afterwards or a year later...we meet Mr. Right So Wrong at the club, or cafe, or at farmer's market...we hardly speak...and...if we do...the feelings of resentment or personal failure reminds us that the flesh is weak...

Last night I received a call...from a pilot I met at Bull Dogs...a year ago...the last time I saw him though was in April at Bull Dogs...when he professed his seriousness for getting together...but I placed no value on mere words...

Him: You can take this any way you choose....but....I love you!...and hangs up...

This call was sweet although quite inappropriate last night...how can I now qualify this statement when I've only chatted with this individual twice...never went on a date....however a year ago we did spend a night together...void of sex...no fondling...just repose...and six months later he hit on my cousin...

One word...trifling

QUOTE OF THE DAY
“Paradise is exactly like where you are right now... only much, much better.” - Laurie Anderson

Remembering Uncle

At this moment, dawn is breaking
while I'm in virtual comtemplation
In a moment, countless thoughts
saturate my internal, egging to be
embellish....

"This is the day, The Lord has made, let us be glad and rejoice in it"...my recently deceased favorite uncle always preface his conversations to whomever he called or called him with these biblical words...reflecting now on his life and what it meant to so many people he touched...these words resonates strongly with me this day...

I have so many things I'd like to do, so many desires that each day go unfullfilled...and yet...this day...this very day...takes precedence over any and everything...for this day is the Lord's day that he's blessed with me...and I'm grateful...

Why do I miss my past?..it doesn't make sense, I know...but somewhere deep inside wants some of the good things in my life back...It's in these moments of cloudy judgement...my fears esculate...so today...I'll begin my prayers...

"This is the day, The Lord has made, let us be glad and rejoice in it"....


QUOTE OF THE DAY
“In the province of the mind, what one believes to be true either is true or becomes true.”- John Lilly