Good Friday
It was Good Friday, a holy day and a day of no work...so we could sleep in a later than usual...around ten I got up and made coffee for my beau, tea for me and a light breakfast...we sat up in bed watching television...it was a good morning. Stepf asked what would I like to do today...I told him it's a holy day of obligation for me and that I would be attending church between 12 to 3 pm...he asked if I had to go to church...I said "yes I do"...Stepf wanted us to do something together this day...it was fine by me but it would have to be after church...
He settled for that answer...or so I thought...He's not a church going man...he stopped going to church a long time ago...according to him...he carries his spiritualism within...which was fine by me...to each his own...but he couldn't correlate Church and me...for it always seemed that I would choose church on Sundays instead of staying in with him on our one day off together...my response to him would be ... what's three hours of twenty four...
Anyhow I went to church...venerated, prayed...and asked God for forgiveness...for I knew what I do...and still do it...and came back to the condo only to find a note on the bed that he decided to go by work and that I should call him once I've read the note...I called and Stepf said he would be back in ten minutes...the luxury 700 room hotel on the beach he managed was literally two minutes away.
Stepf walked in with a bottle of Chardonnay...and a platter of seafood prepared by the chef...needless to say it was delicious...he was a good mood...a very good mood...smiling and kidding around compared to his sombre state earlier...we actually spent the next two hours being primal with one another...I don't know if it was the wine or a need to expel the tension...but it was damn good...we were so sweaty...good sex sweat... that we took a shower together and did it again...it's something about water constantly pouring on you in a carnal nature that gets me all horny and crazed...I took him like a crazed animal who hasn't had food in days.
All spent out we rested for a bit...and decided that we would go out...to a local pub run by a dyke policewoman and her lover...and have dinner and a few drinks...we were having a great time for we haven't been out in a minute because of our busy schedules and travel...I'm an apparel buyer for large retail business...In walks an aquaintance whom I haven't seen in years...comes over to our table...two of Stepf friends have joined us by then...and says hello to everyone...I stood up and he hugs me...and we chit chatted for about five minutes...and he left and went to sit at the bar...all through this exchange Stepf was watching me...even after he left Stepf was watching this friend of mine...apparently unbeknown to me...my aquaintance was glancing every now and then at our table...presumably at me...my back was to him but Stepf was facing him...something happened in there and to this day I don't know what it is...five minutes later Stepf announced that he was tired and ready to go...and I was like but I thought we were staying for a bit and wait for Cousin and his lover to show up so that we all could go down to the club...Stepf insisted that he was tired and ready to go but I knew anytime his lips went in that straight line...he was mad or something was wrong...so I bid his friends good night...they too thought it sort of strange...as we were leaving my aquaintance got up from the bar, called out my name, came over and hugged me and told me to give him a call...and that it was nice seeing me again...we left...
We rode in silence for the next ten minutes to the condo...if I didn't know something was wrong earlier...I knew right at this moment...Stepf only behaves this way when he's upset...so I asked him what was wrong...then Mount Kilamanjaro erupted...jealousy is just one of the roots of all evil...a deadly one especially when one feels wounded...He questioned me at no lengths about this aquaintance of mine...and I told him the truth...we met during a course that I had to attend for work at the Chamber of Commerce...he happened to sit on the side of me during the seminar...I had no idea he was gay...until tonight when he walked in...it was more of a surprise...than anything...well as far as Stepf was concern...this was not the truth...to him it seemed more...it was five minutes or less we talked in front of him...I was so put out by his accusations that I changed my clothes and told him to grow the fuck up and get over it...nothing happened between us...Stepf suspects anyone that talks to me...over the years I've learned to deal with his insecurity on this issue...but I'd be damn if I let his insecurities disrupt my friendships...I went to bed after he said our body language when we were talking said something else...
He eventually came to bed...and started his shit again...but this time...questioned the whole day...Why did you have to go to church when you knew I wanted to spend the whole day with you...called me uncaring and selfish...selfish because I went to church...you knew this was the only day we could be together... it was too much and I was tired and didn't feel the need to respond to his lame ass about this shit...I rolled over, closed my eyes, tuned his ass out and went to sleep...
It was around two am...I felt like I was choking...couldn't catch my breath...it felt as if someone was choking me...I opened my eyes...and my horror began...the blood rushing to my head...Stepf was on top of me choking me...his eyes were crazed and I was stunned into disbelief...it finally hit me that he was trying to kill me...and shouting at me...bitch, slut...and the like...when you have to survive you do everything in your power to survive and I did just that... I manuevered myself until I had some leverage and shoved him off of me...he's a bigger guy than me...but at that moment it did matter if I was to survive...he fell on the floor and I got off the bed...He was about to get up and I told him don't...he started to apologize and apologize...I was angry, stunned and definitely not hearing him...I picked up the phone and called my brother who lived just around the corner to come for me...
It was Good Friday...
QUOTE OF THE DAY
"Recompense injury with justice, and recompense kindness with kindness." - Confucius
He settled for that answer...or so I thought...He's not a church going man...he stopped going to church a long time ago...according to him...he carries his spiritualism within...which was fine by me...to each his own...but he couldn't correlate Church and me...for it always seemed that I would choose church on Sundays instead of staying in with him on our one day off together...my response to him would be ... what's three hours of twenty four...
Anyhow I went to church...venerated, prayed...and asked God for forgiveness...for I knew what I do...and still do it...and came back to the condo only to find a note on the bed that he decided to go by work and that I should call him once I've read the note...I called and Stepf said he would be back in ten minutes...the luxury 700 room hotel on the beach he managed was literally two minutes away.
Stepf walked in with a bottle of Chardonnay...and a platter of seafood prepared by the chef...needless to say it was delicious...he was a good mood...a very good mood...smiling and kidding around compared to his sombre state earlier...we actually spent the next two hours being primal with one another...I don't know if it was the wine or a need to expel the tension...but it was damn good...we were so sweaty...good sex sweat... that we took a shower together and did it again...it's something about water constantly pouring on you in a carnal nature that gets me all horny and crazed...I took him like a crazed animal who hasn't had food in days.
All spent out we rested for a bit...and decided that we would go out...to a local pub run by a dyke policewoman and her lover...and have dinner and a few drinks...we were having a great time for we haven't been out in a minute because of our busy schedules and travel...I'm an apparel buyer for large retail business...In walks an aquaintance whom I haven't seen in years...comes over to our table...two of Stepf friends have joined us by then...and says hello to everyone...I stood up and he hugs me...and we chit chatted for about five minutes...and he left and went to sit at the bar...all through this exchange Stepf was watching me...even after he left Stepf was watching this friend of mine...apparently unbeknown to me...my aquaintance was glancing every now and then at our table...presumably at me...my back was to him but Stepf was facing him...something happened in there and to this day I don't know what it is...five minutes later Stepf announced that he was tired and ready to go...and I was like but I thought we were staying for a bit and wait for Cousin and his lover to show up so that we all could go down to the club...Stepf insisted that he was tired and ready to go but I knew anytime his lips went in that straight line...he was mad or something was wrong...so I bid his friends good night...they too thought it sort of strange...as we were leaving my aquaintance got up from the bar, called out my name, came over and hugged me and told me to give him a call...and that it was nice seeing me again...we left...
We rode in silence for the next ten minutes to the condo...if I didn't know something was wrong earlier...I knew right at this moment...Stepf only behaves this way when he's upset...so I asked him what was wrong...then Mount Kilamanjaro erupted...jealousy is just one of the roots of all evil...a deadly one especially when one feels wounded...He questioned me at no lengths about this aquaintance of mine...and I told him the truth...we met during a course that I had to attend for work at the Chamber of Commerce...he happened to sit on the side of me during the seminar...I had no idea he was gay...until tonight when he walked in...it was more of a surprise...than anything...well as far as Stepf was concern...this was not the truth...to him it seemed more...it was five minutes or less we talked in front of him...I was so put out by his accusations that I changed my clothes and told him to grow the fuck up and get over it...nothing happened between us...Stepf suspects anyone that talks to me...over the years I've learned to deal with his insecurity on this issue...but I'd be damn if I let his insecurities disrupt my friendships...I went to bed after he said our body language when we were talking said something else...
He eventually came to bed...and started his shit again...but this time...questioned the whole day...Why did you have to go to church when you knew I wanted to spend the whole day with you...called me uncaring and selfish...selfish because I went to church...you knew this was the only day we could be together... it was too much and I was tired and didn't feel the need to respond to his lame ass about this shit...I rolled over, closed my eyes, tuned his ass out and went to sleep...
It was around two am...I felt like I was choking...couldn't catch my breath...it felt as if someone was choking me...I opened my eyes...and my horror began...the blood rushing to my head...Stepf was on top of me choking me...his eyes were crazed and I was stunned into disbelief...it finally hit me that he was trying to kill me...and shouting at me...bitch, slut...and the like...when you have to survive you do everything in your power to survive and I did just that... I manuevered myself until I had some leverage and shoved him off of me...he's a bigger guy than me...but at that moment it did matter if I was to survive...he fell on the floor and I got off the bed...He was about to get up and I told him don't...he started to apologize and apologize...I was angry, stunned and definitely not hearing him...I picked up the phone and called my brother who lived just around the corner to come for me...
It was Good Friday...
QUOTE OF THE DAY
"Recompense injury with justice, and recompense kindness with kindness." - Confucius
posted by Da Jardin at 1:28 AM
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