Monday's Mind
Its tea time…this morning’s choice…Lipton’s lemon and honey…mediation song is Yolanda Adams version of “The Battle is Not Yours it’s the Lord”…
Have you ever wrestled with your mind…when your troubled…it’s like your total being is immerse deep within…internalizing…you lose all sense of time and place…maybe… it’s some issue with a friend…a family member…your significant other…or some medical shit…God forbid…but nonetheless your caught up and it seems that there’s no beacon of light out of this dilemma…this is where I am in this moment…this early morn…right now my spirit is purging and release is beckoning…however confronting this issues of self esteem and insecurity is delicate with this person and I keep asking myself -- How do I do it?…Should I do it this way?…or should I just be the normal blunt brother that I am and let it rip…I’m praying about it …like Yolanda says...This battle is not mine...it's the Lord....
The weekend is over…and I did absolutely nothing other than lazed about and do me…I’m not ashamed …this brother just finished working fourteen days straight…I still feel lazy …but the body is rested and the mind is sharp…I went out with an old acquaintance last Thursday and we got into discussing the days of our lives…so I decided to share with you…a little fodder from my time out…
Why is it that brothers who swing on both sides of the fence think their “game” or for that matter...their sex rules the whenever…why do we give them so much power and get caught up in their world…and not ours…
He knock on the door…I let him in clad in a work shirt and white bikini briefs…he steps inside the door just enough for me to close it and wham!... just as the door closes he roughly pushes me up against the door with such force …with his hand cupping my neck …he teasingly and fervently grazes my mouth with his lips…challenging me intently with his stare…while his other hand was ripping off the buttons of my work shirt I just put on for work…I could smell his manly scent and feel his erratic breaths on my skin…I could sense the thrill of the unknown, the unexpectedness of this moment…I was hot and hard…
He had no right coming up in here at six in the morning when I’m trying to get dressed and out of here for work…he no right calling me at 1:30 am talking shit like he was King Tut…questioning my whereabouts like he’s master of this plantation…why did I take this shit…now I know you guys are thinking right now...why did you opened up the door...yes he was phine…tall, dark and deathly handsome with a body so cut he could draw blood as he sexed you…
I was delirious…my mind was racing way ahead of me and my body was responding to his touch…it was so wrong…but it felt so good…he slipped his hand in my briefs and massaged my tool and then with both of his hands he squeezed my cup cakes while still challenging me with his eyes…he found my pleasure principle and as he inserted his finger sharply upward…I gulped and he kissed me passionately and hungrily…like he’s never done before…as his rule is he only kisses women…he tasted so good…
It’s hard enough finding a man --- a good one at that --- gay or straight…and after so many times at bat…I had practically given up… it had been more than awhile…until that day in Publix at the cross section of Highway 78 and Killigan Road…in aisle ten…ten became the number my pleasure principle would get accustomed too…the packaging was right…intelligent, witty, rough, professional...the only down side…bisexual with conditions that didn’t come with comprise…either take or leave it…I saw all the red flags and simple, neglected me took it…I craved in the grocery...got fed from the grocery...got abused in my home...and robbed myself...
Where art thou..."my"... self esteem?
I called in sick that day…
Is about that time now…I have to say…chat to you guys later…as this brother has to go to work…as there’s no one knocking on my door…LOL!
Have you ever wrestled with your mind…when your troubled…it’s like your total being is immerse deep within…internalizing…you lose all sense of time and place…maybe… it’s some issue with a friend…a family member…your significant other…or some medical shit…God forbid…but nonetheless your caught up and it seems that there’s no beacon of light out of this dilemma…this is where I am in this moment…this early morn…right now my spirit is purging and release is beckoning…however confronting this issues of self esteem and insecurity is delicate with this person and I keep asking myself -- How do I do it?…Should I do it this way?…or should I just be the normal blunt brother that I am and let it rip…I’m praying about it …like Yolanda says...This battle is not mine...it's the Lord....
The weekend is over…and I did absolutely nothing other than lazed about and do me…I’m not ashamed …this brother just finished working fourteen days straight…I still feel lazy …but the body is rested and the mind is sharp…I went out with an old acquaintance last Thursday and we got into discussing the days of our lives…so I decided to share with you…a little fodder from my time out…
Why is it that brothers who swing on both sides of the fence think their “game” or for that matter...their sex rules the whenever…why do we give them so much power and get caught up in their world…and not ours…
He knock on the door…I let him in clad in a work shirt and white bikini briefs…he steps inside the door just enough for me to close it and wham!... just as the door closes he roughly pushes me up against the door with such force …with his hand cupping my neck …he teasingly and fervently grazes my mouth with his lips…challenging me intently with his stare…while his other hand was ripping off the buttons of my work shirt I just put on for work…I could smell his manly scent and feel his erratic breaths on my skin…I could sense the thrill of the unknown, the unexpectedness of this moment…I was hot and hard…
He had no right coming up in here at six in the morning when I’m trying to get dressed and out of here for work…he no right calling me at 1:30 am talking shit like he was King Tut…questioning my whereabouts like he’s master of this plantation…why did I take this shit…now I know you guys are thinking right now...why did you opened up the door...yes he was phine…tall, dark and deathly handsome with a body so cut he could draw blood as he sexed you…
I was delirious…my mind was racing way ahead of me and my body was responding to his touch…it was so wrong…but it felt so good…he slipped his hand in my briefs and massaged my tool and then with both of his hands he squeezed my cup cakes while still challenging me with his eyes…he found my pleasure principle and as he inserted his finger sharply upward…I gulped and he kissed me passionately and hungrily…like he’s never done before…as his rule is he only kisses women…he tasted so good…
It’s hard enough finding a man --- a good one at that --- gay or straight…and after so many times at bat…I had practically given up… it had been more than awhile…until that day in Publix at the cross section of Highway 78 and Killigan Road…in aisle ten…ten became the number my pleasure principle would get accustomed too…the packaging was right…intelligent, witty, rough, professional...the only down side…bisexual with conditions that didn’t come with comprise…either take or leave it…I saw all the red flags and simple, neglected me took it…I craved in the grocery...got fed from the grocery...got abused in my home...and robbed myself...
Where art thou..."my"... self esteem?
I called in sick that day…
Is about that time now…I have to say…chat to you guys later…as this brother has to go to work…as there’s no one knocking on my door…LOL!
posted by Da Jardin at 1:24 AM
1 Comments:
WOW....THAT WAS SERIOUS!!!...
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